Most Friendly And Unfriendly Places To Live In The United States
The United States is a big country: With a third of a billion people living across its 3.8 million square miles, it's hard to make generalizations about such a massive and diverse nation.
Every city, state, and geographic region of the U.S. feels unique, and sometimes this comes in the form of the friendliness — or lack thereof — exhibited by the people who live there. We polled Reddit and other sources to assess some of the regions that stand out for being particularly friendly or unfriendly.
Friendly: New Orleans
New Orleans is a singularly unique city in North America, full of old-world charm and genuine joie de vivre. "We live in a concert, and everyone wants to share their love of music," summed up one local on Reddit.
Whether you're attending Mardi Gras festivities or just enjoying some local flavors on Bourbon Street, locals and visitors alike will genuinely find a friendly face and warm conversation on the streets of the Crescent City.
Unfriendly: Long Island
We don't want to generalize too much about Long Island, because more than 7.5 million people live on the island. That said, many Redditors agreed that Long Island isn't the friendliest place to live.
While some pointed out that the south shore of the island tends to be a little friendlier than those who live in the north, most agreed that Long Islanders tend to be a little colder and meaner than folks who come from elsewhere.
Friendly: Chicago
This one was introduced by a Redditor who said they met more people in their first two weeks living in Chicago than they did in 25 years of living in California.
This might owe to the fact that the Midwest is sometimes seen as being friendlier and more open than either of the coasts. Whatever the case, numerous Redditors chimed in to agree that Chicagoans are refreshingly open and friendly.
Unfriendly: Maine
Maine exhibits some traits that you'll see in areas with a lot of long-time locals and not too many outsiders: A kind of guarded insularity. One commenter pointed out that their college years in Maine were characterized by two groups: Mainers and non-Mainers.
"People who were born and raised in rural Maine were really hard to be friends with a lot of the time," they wrote, adding the caveat that folks from southern Maine tended to be a little more friendly.
Friendly: New York City
New Yorkers, at least those who live in the five boroughs, are used to existing in a small area, which kind of forces a sense of community. Commenters agreed that people from NYC wear their emotions on their sleeves, so there is no passive-aggressiveness here.
"[It's the] easiest place ever to make really good friends, and no one's talking [trash] about you behind your back — they say it straight to your face, and then everyone goes on about their day," wrote one Redditor.
Unfriendly: Miami
If you like sunshine, beaches, beautiful people, and...um, unfriendly people, Miami can't be beaten. One Redditor said that this is especially true for people who are younger, working class, and not particularly physically attractive.
Another commenter noted that there's a distinct lack of eye contact and small talk when traveling through the Miami Metro area. While southerners are often seen as hospitable, several commenters said that Miami doesn't really adhere to these cultural norms.
Friendly: Milwaukee
Wisconsin's passion for beer, brats, and cookouts — whatever the weather — is a recipe for making fast friends. Anyone who braves the elements to tailgate at a Packers or Brewers game will likely find some friendly folks to chat with.
"It always seemed to me that people [in Milwaukee] were willing to open up their friend groups for new people," wrote one Redditor. "There was never any shortage of people who would do things like stop to help a stranger change a tire."
Unfriendly: Appalachia
Appalachia is a vast region, but to be specific here, we're talking about more rural areas of the Appalachian Mountains (which is also quite a large area). This region tends to be wary of outsiders or those who don't go along with local customs.
"If you aren't from there, you aren't welcome there," one Redditor bluntly stated. A follow-up comment stated that even if you are from there, you could very well be shunned for not thinking the same way or doing the same things as the locals.
Friendly: Hawaii
Hawaii has seen an uptick in tensions between tourists and locals in recent years, but this isn't because folks from the islands are unfriendly. In fact, numerous commenters pointed out just how mellow the vibes were for anyone who's willing to be respectful.
"People are casual; all colors are welcomed, you can't tell who has what," one Redditor summed up before cautioning, "Stay humble, be polite, and the island welcomes you — be a [jerk], and it will spit you out to sea."
Unfriendly: Boston
Boston is a thriving, metropolitan city with some of the top universities in the country. Despite this status, it still has a way of feeling like a small town for locals and visitors alike.
This seems to come in two forms: The standard big city scenario where people are too busy to take the time to make small talk, and also in the trademark brashness exhibited by many Bostonians. While this isn't inherently unfriendly, it might be jarring to those who aren't used to it.
Friendly: Buffalo
Buffalo is known as the City of Good Neighbors. This sense of community might stem from the fact that locals spend so much time helping their neighbors dig their cars out of the snow every winter.
Redditors who live in Western New York stated that this doesn't mean that everyone's necessarily open — it just means that there's a strong sense of community, and if anyone needs help, they'll usually find it nearby.
Unfriendly: Minnesota
This could also apply to North Dakota or any area in the midwest that has a strong Scandinavian influence. It stems from the stoicism exhibited by people in these Nordic countries, which can come off as cold, indifferent, and stand-offish — even if it isn't intended this way.
Speaking of Scandinavians, one Redditor joked, "In Finland, you can spot the extroverts because they stare at your shoes rather than their own." That's an expression that could be applied to Minnesotans as well.
Friendly: Richmond, Virginia
Opinions were a bit divided here, but it seems that Richmond may hit the sweet spot for southern hospitality: A place where people display genteel friendliness, but not in a passive-aggressive way — they actually mean it.
"I mean, it's so friendly to the point that it makes me mad, like don't hold that door and smile at me for so long, I don't have the energy to keep up with that," wrote one commenter.
Unfriendly: New Jersey
New Jersey is sandwiched between two cities with outsized personalities in New York and Philadelphia, so this one kind of makes sense. Redditors noted that northern New Jersey in particular is the epicenter of unfriendliness in the state.
One commenter said that New Jersey residents don't even necessarily take the time to say, "Thank you, goodbye," to end a phone call — they just hang up the phone. It isn't intended to be rude, but it can certainly come off that way.
Friendly: Houston
If there's a city where you can expect friendliness and hospitality but also need to stay on your toes, it's Houston. One Houston native wrote that people in Houston are "very nice while also crazy."
Another commenter said that there were many factors that led to them leaving Houston — most notably endless traffic jams — but that the quality of the locals was never one of them. It's a friendly place for locals and visitors alike.
Unfriendly: Las Vegas
One of the world's major tourist destinations, Vegas is built with visitors in mind. This makes it an attractive place to visit, but perhaps not the best place to live, as its tourism infrastructure makes it feel disjointed.
"I've never been anywhere else with so little sense of community outside of a few affluent neighborhoods," wrote one Redditor. Others agreed, saying that there's a pervasive sense of rudeness when you're living there.
Friendly: Vermont
A mountainous state with no big cities, Vermont is an easy place to get lost in. But that doesn't mean that Vermont is full of reclusive mountain men — in fact, it's quite a friendly place to spend time in.
"[Vermont natives] are the perfect mix of being kind and nice, as opposed to nice but not kind, or kind but not nice," summarized one Redditor. "They'll wave and say hello but not sidetrack you from what you're doing."
Unfriendly: Seattle
This quirk is so well known that it has a name: The Seattle Freeze. This refers not necessarily to overt rudeness or unfriendliness, but rather a general sense of coldness and detachment.
"People in Seattle are generally polite, but they're not interested in expanding their friend groups that they made in high school and/or college," wrote one Redditor. "If you move there, you might want to bring your friends with you."
Friendly: Nebraska
While we can't speak to the population centers of Nebraska like Lincoln or Omaha, it seems that the rural areas of Nebraska are full of friendly and helpful people. One Redditor shared their story of biking cross-country and encountering incredible friendliness in Nebraska.
"I had three people pull their truck over and offer me a ride, and in every bar we stopped in, the locals were very curious and warm towards us," they wrote.
Unfriendly: Northern Virginia
This region is home to some of the richest counties in the country, along with thousands of government employees who commute to work in D.C. Redditors pointed out the "guarded and untrusting" nature of the locals in this area.
Perhaps it's this wealth and the overall drive for success that gives Northern Virginia this reputation. "It's a cut-throat pressure cooker," concluded one commenter. "You either come out a diamond or you explode."
Friendly: Portland
Redditors noted that Portland's reputation as a beer hotspot makes it a friendly, sociable place, with one commenter saying, "People drink here like they do in New Orleans."
Even though Portland's scene can veer towards pretentiousness — we've all seen Portlandia — this doesn't mean that it's an unfriendly city. "I have found people here as nice as Canadians, usually," the commenter wrote, paying Portland the ultimate compliment in terms of friendliness.
Unfriendly: Phoenix
This was a bit of a mixed bag, as commenters couldn't fully agree. In general, while people who grew up in Phoenix are generally regarded to be friendly, it's the transplants who can be tougher to deal with.
Thanks to its low tax rates and affordability, Phoenix is an attractive place to live for Californians who've been priced out of their communities or older folks looking for a warm place to retire. In any event, the Phoenicians seem to view these populations as being unfriendly.
Friendly: Charleston, South Carolina
One of North America's oldest cities is also one of its friendliest, according to many people — both visitors and full-time residents alike. Its tourism industry means there's a service-oriented economy, and visitors are never far from a helping hand.
"Some of the fondest memories of my life are in that town," wrote one commenter. "Riding bikes to Folly Beach to see the sunrise and pier fishing. I envy [Charleston residents] so much."
Unfriendly: Asheville, North Carolina
Asheville is a relatively small city of less than 100,000 people, but it still received several Reddit shout-outs for being an unfriendly and snobbish place. It has a thriving cultural and arts scene, and this has caused a population boom, which has driven prices up.
"Asheville is full of extremely pretentious people that aren't from the area but think they're better than the locals," wrote one Redditor, summing up the local attitude.
Friendly: Cleveland
Commenters got hyper-specific here, pointing to various municipalities in northern Ohio, from Lakewood to Solon to Beachwood. But the thing that ties all of these places together, aside from overall friendliness, is that they're close to Cleveland.
One commenter wrote that there's a sign in downtown Lakewood that reads No matter where you're from, we're glad you're our neighbor in multiple languages. That seems to sum up the attitude in the 'burbs of Cleveland.
Unfriendly: Cincinnati
A fairly large city that can nonetheless feel insular and cliquish, Cincinnati doesn't compare very favorably with other Ohio cities like Cleveland and Columbus in terms of overall friendliness.
"Locals only care which Catholic high school you went to," wrote one Redditor, describing a local peculiarity. They also pointed out that local drivers tend to be terrible and even called out Cincinnati chili — a local delicacy — for being disgusting.
Friendly: Carlsbad, California
This city near San Diego has beautiful weather all year around and isn't as crowded as other coastal cities in Southern California. From the affluent commuters who live there to the older folks who retire to Carlsbad, it sounds like there's a lot of friendliness to go around.
"People aren't Midwestern nice, but they're very civil and occasionally friendly," wrote one commenter. "There is also a lot of city-funded and homeowner's association-funded beautiful landscaping."
Unfriendly: Detroit
Detroit has taken an economic beating over the past half-century or so, which may help explain why this region of Michigan is seen as being unfriendly. One commenter said that even the friendly people are kind of jerks "and not in a big-city way."
One factor driving this is the divisiveness between those who live in the city proper and those who live in the suburbs. Speaking of the suburban folks, one commenter said, "People there seem very focused on status symbols."
Friendly: Alaska
It's tough to generalize about a whole state, let alone the biggest state, but Alaska does have some common characteristics running through its broad expanse. The state is full of seasonal workers and transplants from elsewhere, and the long winters seem to foster a sense of community.
"Something I loved is that in Alaska, people would be quick to invite you on a hike or out fishing, and less so to plan a gathering at a bar," wrote one Redditor.
Unfriendly: Bay Area
San Francisco was a countercultural hub back in the '60s, but things have turned more towards technology and venture capital in the decades since. While it still holds its inclusive reputation, locals were called out for not being particularly friendly.
Someone who's lived in the Bay Area for most of their life wrote, "We're super NIMBY and elitist here, but not outwardly about it." In general, it's a place where status symbols speak volumes.
Friendly: Kansas City
We didn't know whether to credit Kansas City, Kansas, or Kansas City, Missouri, with this distinction — so let's count both of them as being particularly friendly places to visit and live.
Redditors note that folks in Kansas City have a lot of local pride in the sites and attractions in the area. So, visitors and newcomers will find all sorts of recommendations when they're talking to the locals.
Unfriendly: Worcester, MA
Worcester, Massachusetts, is a classic New England city, but the fall foliage and scenic sites only go so far when visitors often find themselves facing off against antagonistic attitudes.
"Worcester has the most unfriendly people I've ever come across," wrote one Redditor. "And the most aggressive drivers." Another commenter said that some Massachusetts locales, like Fall River, are charismatic — whereas Worcester just feels rude and angry all the time.
Friendly: Philadelphia
Most visitors to Philly expect a certain kind of brashness in the local population, and this stereotype is largely true. The Philly personality might be a tad in-your-face, but that doesn't mean it's unfriendly — quite the opposite, in fact.
One Redditor who's lived in Philly for 15 years wrote, "Despite its reputation, I find that people are very friendly. My neighbors are all wonderful, too. We decided to retire here as we love our life in this crazy but beautiful city."
Unfriendly: Reno, Nevada
Reno is known as the biggest little city, but it also might be the meanest little city. Well, maybe "mean" isn't the right word for Reno residents — but "disingenuous" might be.
"I got really fed up with people only wanting to connect if they thought it would benefit them," wrote a commenter. "For instance, if you have a truck and they knew they were going to be moving, or you have a job and they're looking for a new one."
Friendly: Georgia
Sometimes, it's hard not to question Southern hospitality — after all, this accommodating, genteel attitude is often only surface-deep. Still, lots of visitors to the state of Georgia have good things to say.
A New Englander wrote that they were welcomed with open arms when visiting Georgia. These attitudes can vary a lot, of course, whether you're talking about Atlanta's metropolitan city center or Savannah's quiet, shady streets.
Unfriendly: Charlotte
North Carolina is full of transplants, which might help explain why it's built up a bit of a reputation for being unfriendly. Redditors note that while people in the suburbs and towns on the outskirts can be accommodating, many people in the city proper are ice-cold.
"Southern fakeness, fake friendliness, and fake happiness," wrote one commenter. "Very much the vibe of 'stab you in the back and step on you' if it suits them."
Friendly: Pittsburgh
The Steel City has a reputation for being a hard-working, blue-collar town that doesn't put on airs. This stereotype seems to be largely true for the folks who visit or call Pittsburgh home.
"Pittsburgh is the only city I have visited where the people struck me as particularly friendly," wrote one Redditor who'd recently been in the area. "There are a lot of very friendly people in Pittsburgh."
Unfriendly: Los Angeles
It's hard to tar such a massive city with the same brush, so this doesn't apply across the board — but over the decades, the City of Angels has built a reputation for being a tough place to make new friends.
Redditors pointed to the city center of Los Angeles, along with the suburban San Fernando Valley to the north, as being epicenters of L.A.'s epidemic of unfriendly attitudes and people.
Friendly: San Antonio
Between its River Walk and the Alamo, San Antonio is full of tourist attractions — and perhaps that steady flow of tourism explains why this Texas city has a good reputation.
"They're used to tourists and transplants due to the military bases," wrote a commenter. "They always help people out if you're stuck on the side of the road or trying to work on something outside. People will strike up conversations."
Unfriendly: Mississippi
Mississippi is full of southern hospitality, so your results may vary — but Redditors seemed to agree that Mississippi is not a particularly welcoming state to outsiders who make the move.
This might owe something to the fact that Mississippi doesn't tend to get a lot of tourists, and many locals tend to leave for greener pastures and better opportunities. These factors combine to make it a relatively insular place.
Friendly: Sacramento
Sacramento is the major city in California that tends to get lost in the mix after L.A., San Francisco, and San Diego. But don't sleep on the state capital, which sits inland on a picturesque river.
"It's a very down-to-earth, middle-class city. Most people are government workers," one commenter wrote. "The cost of living is decent, and people are just genuinely nice. I'm from the Central Valley and find that to be true in even the dumpiest cities of the Valley."
Unfriendly: St. Louis
St. Louis can be a good place to live, but if you're not from there, it might be a bit of a challenge to feel like you belong. One Redditor who grew up in St. Louis said that while people are talkative, they're not all that welcoming.
"People there will talk your ear off, but unless you were in their high school clique, they don't want to be your friend," they wrote. "People might seem warm on the surface, but just beneath, it's a cold and not very welcoming place."
Friendly: Oklahoma
Whether you're in one of Oklahoma's big population centers like Tulsa or Oklahoma City or in a smaller town, you're likely to encounter friendly, open people wherever you go.
"Everyone I've met in Oklahoma is insanely friendly," one commenter said. "That has been my experience in Tulsa, OKC, and especially the small towns. Same largely goes for small-town Texas. It's a pity they all turn into sociopaths when they get in an automobile."
Unfriendly: East Texas
East Texas, also known as the Piney Woods, is adjacent to friendly places like Houston and New Orleans. Despite this influx of good vibes, however, it seems like a fairly standoffish place.
"East Texas in general is just misery, although aggrievement is bad statewide," one Redditor stated. "Also, road rage is off the charts in Texas — so whatever you do, don't make eye contact with other drivers."
Friendly: Panama City, Florida
Tourist hot spots seem to go one of two ways: Either the locals are used to tourists and welcome their influx of cash into the local economy, or locals are fed up with decades of clueless tourists.
Panama City, fortunately, seems to belong in the former category. "Was completely shocked even my first week here," wrote one incredulous Redditor. "At every grocery store, post office, even checking in at Planet Fitness, everyone is SO NICE."
Unfriendly: Indianapolis
The Midwest has a reputation for wholesome friendliness, but it's also known for being a tad standoffish when it comes to outsiders. This is evidently true in Indy.
"My family had breakfast in a diner outside of Indianapolis and were subjected to CONSTANT glares from our fellow customers, and treated with this naked hostility masked by the thinnest veneer or fake niceness by staff," wrote one Redditor about a negative experience in Indy.
Unfriendly: Colorado Springs
Colorado Springs has a large military contingent, which means that a lot of the people in the area are newcomers, which can sometimes breed resentment in the folks who've lived there for the long haul.
"I was military there, and they disliked both military and Californians — and I was both," wrote one Redditor who didn't get a particularly warm reception during their stay in Colorado Springs.
Friendly: Tucson
While Phoenix is a vast and endless metropolis, Tucson — just down the highway — represents a different, more artsy vibe, while still maintaining the airs of a bigger city. It's a great spot to retire to, particularly for people who are creative.
"It's friendly in a chill, laid-back sort of way," wrote a commenter. "There are some snobby jerks in the foothills neighborhoods, but they're few and far between."
Friendly: Columbus, Ohio
The state of Ohio really seems to wax and wane when it comes to friendliness. Fortunately, the city of Columbus seems like it's a friendly, welcoming kind of place — with a catch.
"People here are very friendly, kind, and neighborly," one local wrote. "It has recently started growing a lot, and the transplants are...less nice. They complain about this version of Midwestern Nice and just seem to...not get it."
Unfriendly: Central New York
Between the western cities of upstate New York and the hubbub of New York City lies the often-forgotten central region of the state, which is home to the state capital of Albany.
"There's a peculiar personality to the culture of Central New York," described one Redditor. "It's negativity, but also insecurity. It manifests in different ways, with a badge of civic belonging being an anti-civic pride. Another way it comes out is a sort of generalized prickliness."
